I’m starting a detox. It’s a weight loss detox. The portions are very specific, and the “allowed” foods are also very specific. It might just kill me, but I’ll be dead and skinny.
It’s a 42-day detox. It involves supplements that help the body drop excess fat reserves, and it involves foot cleanses as part of the detox. I’m going to do my best to chronicle my journey, just because.
Day 1 was Saturday. On the first two days, you’re supposed to eat as much fat as you can. The idea behind this is that you intake a bunch of fat while beginning the supplements and the body is stimulated to start dropping large loads of fat. Day 1 was weird. I took my drops (the supplement) at 6:55am, and by 7:30 I felt really weird. I felt a lot like I used to feel when I took pseudophed; almost like a racing heartbeat without the racing heartbeat. I don’t even know how that is supposed to makes sense; it’s just a feeling of tenseness in my chest. I pretty quickly didn’t want food. By 10am or so I was tolerating food again, and snacked on nachos that we had at work. By the time I got off of work, I was interested in food again, and ate everything I can get my mouth on. I took my drops around 7pm.
Day 2: I took the drops around 8am on Sunday. Same thing as Saturday, but not as bad. I went and did Cat Care at work, then picked Curtis up and went shopping at Whole Foods. On the detox, it is recommended (for maximum cleansing and weight loss) that you eat all-natural, hormone-free, preservative free foods, as chemicals, pesticides, antibiotics and steroids slow weight release. I definitely didn’t have anything like that in the house, so a trip to Whole Foods was definitely in order. I had forgotten, or perhaps I never really knew, what the advantages of eating organic food are. This detox will teach me a lot, I trust. While in Whole Foods, Curtis went to get a coffee, and brought me back a hot chocolate made with half and half, extra chocolate, and extra whipped cream. It must have been delicious! But it just didn’t taste that good to me. After Whole Foods, we went to Jason’s Deli. I got a reuben (the fattiest thing I could think of) and Broccoli Cheese soup. And a chocolate chip cookie. I made it about 2/3 of the way through one half of the reuben and was just totally grossed out. It was like trying to eat something that you don’t particularly like on al already-full stomach. I like reubens normally, but it just made me want to gag. So I left the other half for Curtis to take home. I moved on to the Broccoli Cheese soup and was able to finish it, and then finished the chocolate chip cookie reluctantly. Rudy’s for dinner, and still wasn’t enjoying much, but I ate as much as I could choke down. What I thought was going to be the two most fun days of eating ever turned into “eh.”
Day 3: Here’s where the “fun” begins. Supplements around 9am. No breakfast, as per the food plan. For lunch, I had a 1/2 cup of steamed mushrooms and a 4oz chicken breast for lunch that had been cooked in the mushroom water for flavor, then 1 rice cake and 1/2 cup of strawberries. It’s a good thing that I actually really love healthy food. (I just also really love crappy fatty cheesey bacony sugary food. But I digress.) Strangely, the lunch was much more ample than I expected. It still left me hungry until I ate the rice cake, and then I felt pleasantly full. Didn’t think to take a picture. For dinner, I had a 3.5 oz buffalo steak. I can’t cook with any fat, so I left it to Curtis to figure out how to cook it, because he’s super creative and a great cook. He’s brilliant, too… I have a jar of minced garlic in the fridge that’s packed in water. He put about 1/2 teaspoon of the garlic water on the steak, then salt, pepper, and some dill. 
He cooked it in our NuWave oven to a perfect medium-rare, and it was DIVINE (I think that NuWave is going to be my best friend through this journey). Along with that, I had 1/2 cup of fresh red bell pepper and 10 pretzels. 
For dessert, a half cup of grapes was just right. All of this counting seems ridiculous to me, but it’s a good way to monitor portions. And with the 90ish oz of water I’m supposed to be drinking per day, I feel pretty full anyway. I didn’t make that today; only got to 60 oz. But oh well. Rome wasn’t built in a day, I guess. I’m trying to hold myself accountable without beating myself up.
I admit that there were several times today when I had random horrible foods on my mind. I hadn’t thought of Cheeseburger Macaroni in a long time, but today, while chewing on my red bell pepper, I couldn’t get that taste out of my brain. I could have Cheeseburger Mac anytime I wanted it, but the minute I can’t have it, I can’t quit thinking about it!
For now, I’m going to lay my neck back on this warm, fuzzy pillow and say goodnight.
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